Firstly, my nipples are BURNT, not just burnt but really bloody BURNT. They are so irritated and painful it feels like I have been breast feeding particularly bitey 40 year old men with heavy stubble.
My hardships started at around 1 am in the morning, I got back to my dorm and found my single dorm mate wants to sleep with the light on. Luckily he was already asleep. Unluckily he was snoring like a freight train.
I therefore had to lean over him in his slumber to turn off his bedside light. While doing this I noticed that in his bed he was sleeping with a meat cleaver. Not just a knife but a cleaver!
I then crossed myself and attempted to sleep without loosing any limbs.
I got up nice and early the next morning as I wanted to do a walking tour in Florence at 11am. I went to reception to try and book an extra nights stay.
Bear in mind that the campsite/hostel I am staying in is dead. Everyone I Speke to says they have at least one or two beds free in their rooms.
I queued for 15 minuets before being told by some old prick that I couldn't extend my stay as they may not have room for me. I needed to pack up, move my bag to storage and come back in 3 hours. Try to imagine how frustrating that is when the guy is sat in front of a board where at least 50 free bed keys are hanging.
So now cutting it fine I ran back packed my bag and returned to reception. Queued up again for 10 minuets this time to be told that I couldn't check out as I didn't have a small paper ticket I was given on check in. He wouldn't take my money and apparently my key was just not good enough proof I had stayed in his accommodation.
I then had to queue up at another window for 10 minuets (whining like a bitch to others in the queue I may add) for a guy to spend 2 seconds weighting Nicholson INTO THE FIRST GUYS COMPUTER to check me out.
Obviously I missed the tour.
I did a Rick Steves audio tour from my IPad which was good but I was pretty lonely so I decided to try and meet the busabout coach at 3pm to buy a ticket for there group tour, leather making demonstration and dinner event that evening.
Although they were late to arrive, leaving me sat on a dirty doorstep for nearly an hour I eventually got my ticket.
I then hurried back to my campsite/hostel 30 mins brisk walk, to get showered and changed.
I checked back in, to a 3 bed dorm that was completely vacant I may add, got sorted and headed back out.
During this rush I lost the rubber head from one of my headphones, so now I have no music for the rest of the trip.
I sat waiting for the bus for 15 minuets and assumed it wasn't going to turn up and the next wasn't for another 20 mins so I decided to walk in. I had not gone more than 100meters when the bus steams past me. I sprinted but did not make the bus.
Whilst walking I found another bus stop, waited a while and got on that one. By this time I had missed the tour but may still make it to the leather factory.
I called the guide to let her know and she was happy for me to join late.
Then my phone battery died, this was particularly bad as this was my only time keeping device.
I got off the bus at the main station and realised in my haste getting ready I had forgotten my map.
By this time I assumed I had missed the leather show too so I would meet them for dinner.
People from Florence are dick heads.
No matter where I was, what direction I was facing anything, every direction I got for the 90 minuets I walked around Florence for was: 'take the next right and just keep on walking' this was not funny on the sixth attempt so I punched the shop counter and demanded he told me the real directions. The guy looked confused and said that these were the right directions. On this case he was telling the truth and I feel terrible for being aggressive to the only person who was actually helping me.
I got to the pub just in time for desert (bear in mind I skipped lunch as I was to have a big dinner so I am starving at this point). Kindly the guide said I could do the tour and meal etc in two days time so I just got myself a burger and all was good.
At about 1am I was chatting away to Jasmine, a really nice girl from Sydney Australia. While doing my impression of how angry I was at the shop keeper earlier in the day I slammed my fists down on the bar table. This sent her drink flying and landed in her lap. To make matters worse she was wearing a really thin cream onsie style outfit. So a crotch full of vodka and tonic wasn't the best accessory to a growingly transparent outfit! Luckily she found it funny, but was not quite as amused with my quip about making her wet...
To top off the glorious day I had to walk through Florence, again, at 3am as I was lost again on the way home via a friends hostel. After I dropped Jasmine off, with her newly dried crotch, I trudged the millions of miles back to my campsite.
No comments:
Post a Comment