The geek out

Today I got up earlyish and headed out for Melbourne museum.

When I arrived I noticed that there was a free tour starting in 15 minuets so I jumped on that! 

It turned out that no one else came for the tour so I got the company of the lovley Ro all to myself.

We were only meant to go for an hour but we were both having such a great time before we realised it we had been looking around the museum for two and three quatre hours!

We went all around the aboriginal and history of Melbourne exhibits. Unfortunately I had to bid farewell to Ro to go and see the evolution, anatomy and psychology exhibits.

After the museum I went back to the hostel and had a couple of farewell drinks with my German mate Phillipp.

The next day I continued on my geek out by visiting the Australian museum of the moving image. It was a pretty cool exhibit all about the progression of audio visual arts (movies, games and what not).

Saturday night was white night!

A festivel dominating the central city of Melbourne. The buildings were all lit up in pretty lights and a few music stands as well. I spent most of the night with Aaron, Lauren, David, Joe, Clay and Helen. As the night went on we ended up separated in the crowds but Joe and I found a jazz music stage and a Brazilian friend of mine, Bruno, and after a few congas we danced to saxophone solos for hours.

Great ocean road 3! This time there's Grampians

I've just arrived back from a fantastic 3 day trip. Free of charge as a result of my travel agent connections!

I Haad a great time, the first day we pooteled along the great ocean road and, not on crutches this time, I got to go down on the most perfect beach and explore thunder cave.

After a fun filled day seeing the natural beauty of the Victorian coast line I impressed the rest of the group with my travel food skills. We chipped in and grabbed a cooked chicken, tomato and bread for a huge meal, costing less than five dollars. Finishing the day like all the cool kids do; playing uno late into the night.

The following day we rose early for a short, but stunning, sea side walk. We then drove towards the Grampians stopping at a picturesque lake and a meteor site. Also spying a few Emu's enroute.

The Grampians, a series of wedge shaped mountains formed by the shifting of tectonic plates, were beautiful.

We made several stop offs around the charming town of Halls gap. The best was a moderately challenging hike up to the summit of one of these mountains. The weather had made these wedges and rocks within amazing. Such amazing shapes, contrasts with greenery and sheer lookouts really made this place special. Tim, another relatively fit and intrepid traveler like myself, trail ran an extra loop and down through a Grand Canyon back down to the start.

We also stopped at Venus falls where a hilarious Danish lad called Toby took a dip. The alge in the pools was so thick I couldn't get out. Although his attempts were very amusing!

That evening I took a lot of Goon Virginities. Just spending the good word!

Today was the last day of the trip. We took in some more breath taking views before heading back towards Melbourne. Stopping at a beautiful rustic old winery on the way. This gave me my chance to take some want to be fancy black and white photos.

And now I'm sitting back in my dorm reflecting on a thoroughly enjoyable couple of days. Maybe I'll even heat my soup up tonight to celebrate instead of just taking it from the can!

Valentines day

I had a very nice valentines day this year.

I worked all day (amid cupboard related heckles). I received a very nice valentines day balloon from my friend. After reading said balloon I found it was actually another thinly veiled 'you got locked in a cupboard you idiot' gag.

I had text my friend Nick an SOS and eventually got released by my room mate Danni. Who had spread the word.

After work I went to meet Mikaela -whom I had met in Italy- to go and watch an ozzy rules football game after a couple of pints with her and her friends.

The football was good and I am now officially a Richmond Tigers fan. I have a bobble hat to prove it.

I returned back to the hostel after the tigers had been beaten in the dying seconds by two six point scores. To join the party.

I had a couple of beers and ended up in a Norwegian after party. Fun times! After that is went back down to reception and had a chat with my mate Kristian the night receptionist.

An outlaw!

Up again at 6:30am, this early in the morning really shouldn't be allowed but off I go on another awesome trip to Wilson's prom.

What an amazing place it was too.

The group and I hiked 4.2km up a mountain. To get to the very grey top! The weather had clouded over leading to rain and shit all views! At least the walk and the company was nice!

We tramped back down the mountain side and had our picnic lunch in the car park.

Luckily the afternoon brought better fortunes. The clouds parted and the sun shone rays through the breaks and soon enough we had some beautiful blue sky's.

We then embarked on another long walk through the national park past the most amazing vistas of lush green and tropical blue seas, parted with white golden sands. 

The beach, when we arrived, was so fine that it was like walking on dust. Totally mind blowing. Although we had been at the prom for 5 hours I didn't want to leave.

The bus back to Melbourne was even more eventful than our action packed day.

Just as I was telling two other travel agents, also on the trip, how good it was to work at nomads I received a call.

Shaking with rage on the other end of the phone was Heidi my manager.

Heidi had just found out that I had been a bit of a cheeky bugger. I had recently found out that travel agents get all tours for free... So even though I had already handed in my notice I proceeded to do four days of tours and had a lovley time doing it.

I did not help my case when I explained that I was offered them for free when I was trying to pay to go on them. She responded with "well, if they offered for you to jump off a cliff would you?!!" With out thinking I responded, regretting it immediately "what a ridiculous thing to say! Why would they offer me that, it sounds like a terrible idea for a tour."

Didn't help my case.

Long and the short of it was I got fired and 12hours notice to pack my bags and leave the hostel.

I got back, a little dejected, and decided to have a final pint at the bar where I have been enjoying life so much. When I overheard two of my mates talking about the second bunk bed delivery of which they were helping with in xchange for free accommodation.

The cogs wherrd and a cunning plan crept slowly from the shady corner of my mind. From then on out everything fell into place perfectly.

The bar manager, my boss' boss was having a drink at the bar. I waited for him to Andre outside for a smoke and set the ball rolling. 

I explaned what had happened and that I had been fired and kicked out of the hostel. I didn't expect my job back because I was in the wrong. I did however arrange that in exchange for helping with the bunk bed delivery and treating one of his mates who has a bad neck I can stay on for free until I leave on Tuesday.

Result.

Now I've done over £250 of trips for free and get to stay in the hostel for 5 nights in exchange for one days work nested of three like I was rota'd to do!

With the sweet smell of success in my nostrils I went to bed. Unfortunately though not to sleep.

Nick, Danni and Kelly were planning an illaberate prank on my room mate Brendon. They were hiding in his bed to jump him when he came up to go to sleep. The problem was that Brendon clearly had a better offer and two hours went by and he never came home! So they (pissed out of their minds) had a good old giggle!

Eventually they left only for some of Charlie's friends to come up to the room to have a chat! 

Eventually I got some sleep!

In the morning I came down and had another chat with Kenny and took Ash up to the physio room for treatment.

While I was here Kenny had a blazing Row with Heidi who would by all accounts like my scrotum detached and mounted on an oak trophy Cabernet. My little naughty adventure had apparently reached the top of the chain and pissed off the manager of the entire chain! Oops!

Anyway, I avoided Heidi all day and worked really hard on the bunk beds.

Billy and I took control and our system worked well getting all the bunks done in quick time!

I put the cherry on the cake when stood on the top bunk leaped like a gibbon from it onto hat I thought was a big pile of mattresses. Just as Meg, the big boss of the hostel came in. I got away with it standing up like a cheeky toddler grinning until she left and I let the pain out.

It was not a pile of mattresses but one mattress balanced on a very hard, very metal fan. I had completely buckled the fan and can't wait to see the shade of purple my arse is going to turn!

That evening I had a few Farewell beers with philipp and an early night.

Any work I'll do

The lift's broken!

Terrible news for most but not for me! Due to this malfunction the house keeping staff could not get all the clean bedding up to the appropriate floor. 

I saw an opportunity and I went for it. In exchange for $50 behind the bar I popped my sports gear on and shifted a good 30-40 bags of bed sheets up two flights of stairs.

A nice little earner.

During my following shift on Tuesday 50 new bunk beds were delivered. I ditched the travel desk and got paired up with Clay a big ozzy guy from Sydney, a proffessional rugby league player taking a year off. We spent the day having a laugh and destroying the old bunk beds and building some squeak free new ones.

Today, however, was very much not a work day.

I had a nice lay in before hopping on my bike and cycling a 50-60km return trip up the Yarra river. It was a really nice ride. Although I did have to work hard on e first 15km as my front wheel had unscrewed itself causing a lot of drag on my now wonky wheel/brake system!

After I pounded out those tough yard I had a great time pelting through a farm and cross country tracks. At my furthest point I dismounted for a little rest and a read. I hopped across some rocks on the rapids and read my book on a large rock in the middle of the rumbling river. The setting was so nice I was surprised when I woke up an hour later with my book on my face lying in the middle of the river! I gathered myself and remembered where I was and cycled back to town.

I met up with Clay for one, two or three beers that evening. 

It was really cool to be hanging out with a rugby lad again and I may have got stuck in a little too much to the bag of goon. Seeing as I woke up at 4am locked in a cupboard on the fith floor!

I had gone up with some apparent strangers and fallen for the oldest trick in the book... "I bet you couldn't fit in that cupboard." 

Well I bloody well could!

Then they went to bed....!

That was not the only fun we had that evening!

Earlier in the night Clay and I had decided to be the 'men' and hunt out to get more drink.

We left with a spring in our steps already anticipating the heros welcome we would arrive back to.

Then came a series of unfortunate events...

We jumped in a cab and I asked for Melbourne sentral station. The cabby then took us all round the houses before we arrived at ...Bourke street mall... Out raged I insisted this was not where we wanted to go. The cabby was clearly a hot head and started to shout me down. Clay stayed calm and, addressing the camera rather than the dick head cabby, said clearly that we had been taken to the wrong place and we were leaving without paying.

We then scarpered. Only to find Clay had left his wallet in the fuming taxi drivers car.

So we doubled back and he was still there! Doors locked. Clay knocked the window and the cabby let him in. Clay grabbed the wallet, turned to the taxi driver and said something along the lines of "you silly f***er! You could have got paid then! But instead your just an idiot!" (Clay definitely didn't say idiot but I'll leave the truth up to your imagination!).

We walked to where we wanted to go, all closed.

But we bumped into Ruben, a mate of mine from the hostel. He told us two blocks up would be open. Excited, we jogged there. Closed. But a kind stranger gave us an address.

We hopped into another cab -thankfully not the same one as earlier!- and went.

Success! So I purchased the most expensive box of wine in history and we crabbed back to the park. Our hand aloft in victory. The manly providers expecting a heros welcome.

No one there... All got bored and gone home.

With our pride and egos still swelled for providing so amply a box of four litres we tucked into it ourselves. 

After a little while -and a few texts- we got a few more numbers to join us before heading home. In a delicate state, and all alone, that is when the cupboard trappers struck.

The impromptu escapade

Today was meant to be my rest day in the sea of mirth and alcoholism.

Or so I thought.

I had a good day at the travel desk, considering I had only had three hours sleep the previous evening! I was chipper and sold a few tours. I upsold one girl from a one day great ocean road to a three day trip into the Grampians.

All was good until I went to cash up.

I was $200 short! 

My stomach dropped like I was on the Big Dipper and the floor started to swallow me up. 

Had I really been so stupid! Due to my hang over and poor mathematical ability I had been taxed so hard to figure out how much change I had to give her from $100 when she owed $65 I didn't count the rest of it!

So I called her and in an authoritarian tone made her believe she had made the mistake. I stayed late to wait for her at work so all my friends went to the out door swimming pool without me. 

When Stiene (from Norway) got back and payed she was not overly happy as she had wanted to go to the beach. So I invited her along to the pool with me.

We had a bit of a drama on the tram as we hopped off at stop 33 like we were told whilst I was on the phone to Danni. Danni then told us we needed stop 35! Like a scene from Indiana Jones we leaped in through the sliding tram doors of doom just in the nick of time.

We finally got to the pool and had a great time.

I didn't do much for my street cred as whilst doing a slow motion bay watch run at the poolside I stubbed my toe on an unseen step and fell over.

One tip on a hot day though. Get a canvas hat, fill it with water and put it on. What a dream. The water slowly escapes. It's just great, try it, you'll love it.

All my friends decided to head off about 6pm but Stiene and I decided to stay a little longer. Until we got hungry.

We decided to go down to the riverbank for a Kangeroo BBQ. Unfortunately I'm a very impatient BBQer. Thus after dishing up we had to return the meat to the BBQ. Not once or twice but three times!

After we strolled along the riverbank and I got home about midnight.

At Kilda festival

Today the small beach town of st Kilda was transformed from quiet hippy sheik beach to a seven stage music festival!

After work Avia (the other receptionist) got the tram down to meet all the other hostel guys and Aaron and Lauren. We saw some great acts like the Bamboo's and Alison Wonderland. We rocked out all afternoon and evening! So much fun dancing on the palm tree lined beach with good people.

Life is good!

Reunion and more drunken behaviour

On Thursday I went over to Aaron and Lauren's new home in Richmond. Shortly after arrived David and Michala arrived too for a BBQ.

The whole crew from Sorrento, Italy, back together again!

We had a really cool evening swapping travel stories and chewing down on Kangeroo burgers!

Yesterday, however, was far less civilized.

After working hard all day Friday; and having a lovley little nap I headed down to the bar. When I got there I found a private party all wearing wristbands for free beer. It looked like who ever had been dishing them out had got a bit lazy and left a few discarded at one of the tables. I snatched them up with vigour and gave the spare to my workmate Katelin. We then proceeded to 'get on it'!

After a few free pints we headed down to a club on the Main Street. The club had very strange entertainers. Up on stage they had a pair of 'twerkers' -twerking for the uninitiated are women who can shake there bums really really quickly so it looks like they are vibrating, while the rest of their body's stay completely still-.

Obviously I crashed the party and shook my booty with all the flair I could muster.

Here's a tip for any budding party goers... When your all ready half cut, don't start doing rounds with northern girls. 

The rest of the night included sneaking up and nibbling on Katelins nose, motor boating Amy and figuring out, with Nick, that the reason we don't get the ladies is because they like to be treated mean. So we walked round calling people very naughty names.

Surprisingly this worked! But as a girl went to give me a kiss I got distracted by her incredibly soft hair. So mid lean I complimented her on this and made her turn around so I could stroke it. This didn't go very well and I was soon back with Nick again!

After a night full of mischief it took Nick, Louise and I over an hour to walk the short trip home. This was due to me attempting and failing, several times, to perform the dirty dancing lift with Louise. Luckily she didn't end up on the floor on in a ceiling, making it one of the more successful attempts I have made!

Park, picnic and piss up(s)!

On Friday most of the employees from the hostel were going to the park for a BBQ/picnic. So after my shift finished I headed along. 

I had such a good time. We all chipped in and got far too many boxes of wine for everyone to get stuck in to. So after a chat on the grass a group of us started playing a very athletic drinking game. You stand in two lines opposite each other with a box in the middle. Each team takes turns in throwing a small ball at said box. If you knock it over you and your team drink as quickly as you can until the other team have run in and picked the box up. The team with empty cups first wins.

This was great fun, especially when the bar maid Beth tried to run and slipped straight over onto her face. This caused Mauritz stood next to me to explode half a pint of goon (boxed wine) out his nose.

After a few games and a bit of football we sat for a more sedate game. We played thumper and got a little more merry! 

Then the possums came out!

I tried to get a selfie, or as it is now known a 'facey' with one and it scampered off leaving me looking like a twat next to a tree!

On the way back I fell over and cut my hand trying to parkcore run along a wall. I found some shoes and did a little dance and then rounded the whole evening off with a lipstick fight. I thought I had it nailed down. Running around drawing on the girls. Until all six of them ganged up, sat on my chest and coloured me in!

Tuesday was another busy day. We started at ten when I took a bunch of the guys from the hostel to the park and ran a work out session. It was good fun and I was very surprised we didn't get any injuries. Especially with the piggy back racing!

I then cycled all the way to North Carlton to go to a kung fu shop to replace my super comfortable kung fu shoes. Unfortunately they had nothing I wanted so I went to the retail outlet centre in Central Melbourne. This was bang up my street. I got some really cool sketchers for $49 a t shirt with chewbacca surfing and another pair of plimsoles for $5. I don't know how I'm going to pack all of this!

We rounded off the day with a pub quiz which we came second by 1 point! 

Yesterday, Wednesday, was probably my most productive day so far!

I was up early and went to the immigration museum. It was really good. It was all about how and why people immigrate to Australia all through history. 

My favourite bit was conducting interviews with filmed actors judging wether they could settle in Australia. I was a very strict judge of charichter. Many people should Be glad I have no real power as I clearly would rule with an iron fist!

From the museum I cycled quickly back to the hostel to pick up Daniella and Nick before heading to meet Leah and some of her friends to go to lazer tag. We played on and off for 5 hours! We were joined after 1 hour by Amy, Katie and Katelin.

I was consistently the worst player. I should never go to war. In one game I don't think I was alive for longer than 3 seconds before being shot. Also in one 'last man standing game' I technically think I one as the player with the most lives left but apparently you can't win if you just sit and hide in a corner for half hour. Apparently staying alive defeats the point of the game. Who knew!

After getting my arse handed to me at lazer tag we grabbed some food. I had two ice creams for lunch. Grabbed a shower and Luke, Isaac and I (Leah's friends) got the tram to st kilda for the big music festivel.

One thing Australia, one guy sat in the corner of a restraunt playing covers.... That doesn't count as a festivel.

We walked around for ages looking for sign of festivities before finally finding a festivel map.

We arrived at the main stage, with no one there and a chubby security guard sat on the stage playing with his phone!

We went to a couple of venues but we ended up sat in the back of a pub drinking and swapping stories. Luke and Isaac are a great laugh and I learned more people a year are bitten by cows than by sharks! Useful info.

We turned the shitty festivel into a pub crawl and went to a few further places in town before Luke smashed a glass everywhere in a classy rooftop bar and decided to make one more stop and go back to the hostel.

We had a nightcap at the hostel and hung out with some of the other staff for a bit before turning in.

I thought the fun had stopped there.

I woke up at four am bursting for a pee. 

I tried to climb down my bunk bed ladder facing away (like descending stairs) lowering myself with my hands. I was as quiet as a church mouse, making sure I didn't wake my room mates. Until that is I realised my mistake. I had got to the bottom rung of the ladder, but my arms and shoulders had somehow become pinned into the beds railings! Pissed as a fart I was Squirming wildly and silently kicking my legs violently I had managed to hang myself on the bunk bed so firmly I couldn't get out. I held my resolution not to wake anyone and quite literally hung out for a while before my beer addled brain thought of an escape that didn't involve me tipping over the adjacent wardrobe.

Eventually I became a free man and the wee was all the sweeter feeling for the struggle!

Surfs up!!

Today as part of my job as a travel agent I got to go on an amazing surfing trip on the great ocean road!

We departed early and before long we were in the beautiful bay of Lorne. On went the wetsuits and the ankle straps and after a short beach lesson off we went!

I stood up on my first go! I rode the wave all the way to shore! Narley dude!!! 

I then became very, very terrible for a long while. Standing was not an issue, it was trying to catch a wave! I always ended up completely still on some kind of standing bucking bronco before crashing into the salty water. My boss Heidi and I even managed a tandem surf, high fiving as we went!

I got back into it and did pretty good on the whole for a first timer. 

We then drove along the great ocean road and visited a pretty cool waterfall, tucked into a thicket of dense trees and vegetation. I hopped across the Rocky bed to snap a few photos with my fancy camera settings.

Before lunch we saw some Kangeroos, a mummy with her to joeys. The mum was tagged with her name.... Mary! So it's not just my mum who is hopping mad! -pun very much intended-.

We then went to a really cool surf museum in torque after we had visited Bells beach. Bells beach is one of the most famous surf beaches in the world. Here was definitely the highlight of the day. The waves were enoromous and the instructor and I managed to catch a monster of a wave perfectly and I rode on the crest all the way in to the shore. Such a rush! Epic!

After the museum we stopped for a cheeky pint and a hotdog before rolling back to Melbourne.

Disappointment and exploration

On Tuesday I started, and finished with the Melbourne storm rugby league team. It was not at all the experiance I was expecting and I was largely underwhelmed. 

I therefore spent the rest of the week exploring the city. I met with Tyrone my friend from Malaysia and Sydney and we walked around, visiting the ANZAC war memorial, casino and botanic gardens before heading into china town for a huge steaming bowl of noodles. It seems strange to think that only two months ago I was only eating with chopsticks now here I am again by choice!

In the evening I met Aaron and Sarah friends from Sorrento for dinner. They gave me the low down on New Zealand and told me all about what it was like moving to Melbourne after their European adventure.

Australia Day

I spent the morning working and having a laugh with Isis and Yboe the receptionists before shooting down to the beach with Kristian to meet Danni, Kirstin, Nick, Leah, Amy and Katie down the beach.

We had a few beers and played some never have I ever before coming back to the hostel for more drinks.

I had an amazing night and had a few to many! Yboe the receptionist lost a beer pong compitition and had to streak naked through the bar and down the street. I ended up mingling with so many people playing drinking games and chatting. I ended up with a group of young Aussie lads and decided to go down the riverbank after bars closed and tried to do some cartwheels. I ended up in a thorn bush! Then I ran off and bumped into some couch surfers so hung with them for a while before heading back to my hostel.

Good times!

More Melbourne

After meeting with Steph and later with Lauen on Monday I enjoyed a few quiet days Being productive 

And visiting the Library museum and the Ned Kelly exhibit. Ned is a folk hero in Victoria as he robbed banks and killed corrupt police officers. He was most famous for being the original iron man. I. Fashioned a metal suit out of plough parts so during fire fights he was indestructible.

On Thursday I did my first shift at the hostel followed by trying to cycle to st kilda to meet some more friends. Unfortunately try was the main word. First I had to stop by the bike shop to adjust my brakes. Then as I'm cycling along I am tapped firmly on the shoulder. "Pull over please." The old deaf routine wouldn't work this time so I obliged.

Three of the buggers stood around me astride their bikes. "You know why we've stopped you." I honestly had no idea what was going on, so I continued smiling like a nob head at each of the officers.

"You know it's a legal offence to cycle without a helmet." 

I didn't in fact know that so proceeded (with my finest posh english accent) to plead not only ignorance but bumbling gratitude for letting me know also.

Then they told me it was a $250 fine "FUCK THAT!" I shouted, with more passion than you should use when addressing three police officers.

After denying having my wallet, thus no ID, they made me walk to the closest 7/11 store to buy a helmet. Then they let me off with a warning. I'm just glad none of them realised how strange it was I hadn't my wallet but I was still able to go to a corner shop with a strange leather holding money device and buy a helmet!

By the time I got to st kilda beach all my friends had gone. So after an hour or so of reading my text book I headed back to the city to get ready to meet Lauen.

My luck with transport did not improve! I got on the wrong tram, so I ended up at the end of the line miles away from where I needed to be. I accidentally got on the 96 not the 86 all the way to the end of the line and started coming back when I called Lauen to say I was lost. She made me get off the tram and told me to walk to stops backwards. I walked back away from the city two stops (about ten minuets) and called again. She meant two stops back towards the city.... So off I went again!

Eventually I found her and after that whole tram fiasco we ended up in little Italy. So we stopped and had some Italian ice cream. It was soooo good! And really funny eating ice cream in a bar atmosphere at 10pm. To give you a mental image, imagine an old mans pub with a few younger tattooed rough looking Italian guys. Now replace the pints of beer and stout with ice cream cones.

Friday i Worked In the day time then just chilled with friends awaiting the big weekend coming in the form of Australia Day!

Saturday night I met up with Phillip and we went to Brunswick, a very cool area. Here we met David and Georgie I met first in Sorrento then barcalona for drinks. We went to a couple of really cool bars. Including one that had a great view of the city skyline. 

When everyone decided to go home Phillip and I got the tram back to town and attempted to find some other guys from the hostel. We walked and walked and walked. We asked one guy where 'the lions club' was. He told us opposite hungry jacks, with a big smile on his face. Hungry jacks was opposite the library. We did end up finding them, after an hour walking, just in time to go home!