Getting muddy in a cave!

Today I headed down to the golden water cave. A cave formed inside a lime stone karst.

Although it had been artificially refined for ease of walking the lighting effects were fantastic with really rich colours blending on the stalactites. 

At the end of the cave was where the fun was to be had! A big mud bath and hot springs.

I stripped down to my boxers in a flash and dived in the mud! It was really weird as you could wade through like water but if you lied own you float strangely on to of the mud. I got nice and dirty before cleaning off in the hot springs. Lovley.

I had a bit of a chat with some Chinese tourists in the springs, a chap called 'panda' Bing. Panda being his nickname due to his chubby build.

After the caves I was in a bit of trouble, it seems that the tourist scam is that busses go to the cave,but not back again. This forces you to take expensive tourist carts back to town. I got round this by jumping on the back of a blokes motorbike! 

I zoomed back in no time and went for two lunches with Kevin, Laura and Faye.

We then got the night train to Hong Kong. This was a really fun journey as we all got on the fire water and beers and had a giggle. 

Bikes again!

Rich, Jen, Gabby and I rented some bikes today for a trip down the Yu Long river. First we went north through several tiny rural villages which were very picturesque. Gabby managed to crash into a parked car and graze her knees somehow!

We then were lost for a while before finding ourselves and splitting up, the others went straight to the river. I decided to go a bit further north and cycle through Shangri La and meet them there.

A long story short, I got very lost in the middle of the chinease countryside! 

I was going down this little path in the middle of nowhere when this tiny little fella jumped out of his hammock to come talk to me. He gave me directions then invited me into his land. This consisted of a small ramshackle hut and a few small fields of vegetables and trees crammed in between the mountains. We sat for a while after he showed me round and we shared some freshly harvested chestnuts. He then whipped out a wok and roasted some for us to share. 

I stayed with e chap for around an hour enjoying each others company, I also tried this weird root vegetable, kind of halfway between an onion and a potato. Then I bed him a due.

I met the others by the beautiful river. Rich and I jumped off a 20m bridge into the river, it was very scary! As I went to jump one of the stones was loose, I nearly crapped myself!

We got a round of applause from the locals watching as no one else had done it, got back to shore to find the girls hadn't pressed the right button so there was no video! So we did it again!

After we chilled and dried off a bit we carried on cycling. Gabby fell off again, four foot into a paddy field and rich did a very funny slow motion fall sideways off a narrow path.

At the end of the ride we caught a bamboo raft across the river and cycled back home.

An excellent day!

Yangshuo

We flew into yangshuo yesterday, after and exploration of the town. Yangshuo is a party town, lots of chinease tourists come here for their holidays. The streets are therefore rammed constantly, it takes about 5 minuets to go 100 meters no exaggeration. The town centre is also packed with street stalls, restaurants and night clubs.

The single guys and I (Dan, Phil, Simon and I), walked up and down the strip and settled for a German bar with a balcony. On the way there however I was mobbed by a group of American girls, an experience I can live with! I got the standard "oh my god, your sooo British!" After a brief chat and one girl forcing her contact details on me, if only it were that easy normally! I headed up to the German bar as the lads had left me to fend for myself!

We had a couple of beers and headed home.

Today we had some free time in the morning so I went in search of a karst to climb. 

All in and around the city are huge limestone karst mountains, jutting up rugged and randomly like green fingers coming out of the flat ground.

I found one that looked achievable, so I jumped a fence and a wall and started scrambling up through the dense vegetation. I made good, but very dangerous progress up the mountain, clambering up sheer rock faces. I had to call it a day at halfway though as I was starting to worry climbing down would be too tricky. I was right as I had a bit of a scare when a boulder I stood on came loose and hurtled down through the vegetation.

When I finally emerged from the undergrowth I wandered back through town and got a snappy haircut.

I then met up with the rest of the group and we went on a river cruise down the Li river. It was beautiful sailing through the severe karst's past water buffalo and wild birds.

I had a really good chat with Kevin about his run in with Jamie Oliver! 

That evening Rich, Jen, Gabby and I walked up a paved and safe Karst in the pitch darkness after a beer. It was soo dark traversing the stairs was very difficult! At the bottom we saw some pimped out mopeds! They were covered in multicoloured Christmas lights scooting round the park trying to look hard, hilarious!

The wonderful world of Dali

We arrived in Dali in the afternoon after a brief walk around we settled down in a pub for the afternoon. It was great fun swapping stories of drunken antics. I rolled out my punching a blind guy because he was looking at me funny. I really should stop sharing that one!

The following day we went for a leisurely cycle around the lake near Dali old town. We cycled down through the rice paddy's it was beautiful with the vast fields backed by sheer mountains some way off in the distance.

The lake was equally as vast and beautiful. We were all having a lovely time until catastrophe struck. And for once it wasn't me!

Gabby, a young girl on the trip was looking for a toilet that was signposted. She walked along the grass then stepped onto a concrete path to find the toilet. Unfortunately however this was not a concrete path but the toilet itself. She had stepped straight into a pit of excrement. Up to her chest she went! Dan pulled her out and we then got her cleaned up as best we could with a public tap. I gave her my shirt, which I regretted later when I got horrific sun burn.

After that incident was resolved as much as possible, we got back on the road. 

For all of five minuets.

Phsssssssss.

I had cycled over some shattered glass and punctured my tire!

So Richard and I got our man skills out and managed to fix it with a bit of rubber and some superglue! And hour later and we were back to the breath taking scenery. 

We then spent the rest of the day cycling, the sun was so fierce Richard and I had to take special measures to shield us from the worst of it. I tucked Rich's zip off trouser leg into my hat to protect my neck. Rich went the whole hog and wrapped his shirt around his face like a terrorist and put on his rain mak!

I was very great full of my bed that evening!

Tiger leaping gorge

Yesterday we got a bus from Lijang to tiger leaping gorge in shangri la for a two day hike along the gorge.

Despite our 'guide' trying to lead us in the wrong direction a few times we had a fantastic day. 

The scenery was fantastic, truly incredible. The sheer drops, gushing current, rugged yet green cliff faces and low misty clouds hiding the mountain peaks. I was in awe for both days.

I really made the most of the scenery by having a run along the cliff face and also our half way hotels toilets were un-walled on the side facing the gorge, so I took probably the most beautiful crap in the world (the scenery that is, my movement was particularly average, maybe a little larger in quantity than usual if we are splitting hairs).

The next day Dan and I climbed down to the river itself, the views here were even more tremendous! I really pushed myself and took the dangerous route down. A 30 meter ladder with an overhang straight down the cliff face. Just a metal ladder tied onto the rock face. Mental. But I got down safe and sound.

Chill in Lijang

 I can tell you that being a celebrity gets tiring!

All over china I have been stopped so people can photograph me, or even funnier, I have been victim of the paparazzi on several occasions.

None more annoying than when I took an afternoon stroll around the beautiful Lijang old town. Found a quiet little spot under a weeping willow and a bridge over a trickling stream.

 

Every 10 bloody minuets I had someone sneaking up to take photos with or of me. After that hike, I just want to sleep! The best one was after I dozed off I awoke with a teenage girl sat next to me posing for a photo. Scared the shit out of me!

So I moved to another spot, big mistake. As I sat down floods of children exited  the local school over the river.

They were making silly noises, I was replying with silly noises, it was a lot of fun!

THE hike!

 I awoke at 4am this morning, pulled on my hiking kit and hit the trail up to the summit!

Well eventually I hit the road!

The front door of the hotel was locked so I went looking for a back door... Long story short, I ended up in the pig sty!

After returning from the sty I climbed out the kitchen window and got on my way!

My 6 hour hike up the steep steps of the mountain was far from un-eventful! Although it was incredibly hard work!

After getting out the hotel I walked for a little while with some of the vendors on their way to there stalls up the mountain. 

As I was in the middle of walking up an exceptionally long staircase I saw it. I'm not ashamed to say I screamed like a girl... I nearly fell down backwards, there was a huge snake two steps in front of me. I completely lost my head, well, until I realised it was actually just a stick!

It then started pissing it down! So I continued with my bamboo hiking pole in one hand and a brolly in the other!

I at least cheered up some of the Chinese tourists who started arriving after about 8:30 as they were in waterproof shoe covers, ankle warmers, long coats, hats and brollys. I was in shorts and t-shirt. At points they actually stopped and pointed killing themselves laughing.

I also had to dodge some more monkeys on my ascent.

But after 6 long hours of continuous hiking up steep stairs I reached the golden summit. Of course I reached it the only way I know how... With a final Rocky Balboa style sprint and fist pump!

This is where things got interesting.

At the top it was very cold, the stiff breeze on my soaking clothes really took the wind out of my sails. I stopped in at first aid for a foil blanket. The best they had was an overpriced cold and flu allergy... I gave that a miss!

I then decided to head down to the bottom to meet the others as fast as I could. It was so cold though.

My guide had told me the bus down only cost ¥20 I had ¥30 so to avoid hypothermia I wanted to buy a poncho. As my guide has been wrong quite a lot on this trip I decided to stop in at a hotel just to check the cost of the bus before I bought the waterproof. After a bit of pictunary they told me the cost of the bus... ¥50...

It felt like a bucket of water was dropped on me. I lost all my energy and it took all my strength not to pass out. Gripping my hair I dropped to a knee. After 8 hours of intense hiking up a mountain, 3099 meters altitude I was at a loss.

I have not felt that kind of despair and lack of control since my back was bad. I physically couldn't get down the mountain on my own.

While I got the hotel to phone my guide the cold set in, first I lost the fine control in my hands, I couldn't write, I couldn't open my bag or water. Then the shivering started, light at first but it soon became uncontrollable. Soon my speech was slurring. The hotel were grate, after about half hour of explanation my symptoms became too much I wasn't making any sense, they gave me some hot water, a couple of cakes and a electric heater and I slowly got my shit together.

An American guest called Christina Girard, who was to be staying at the temple at the foot of the mountain the following night kindly leant me ¥100 to get down and I would leave her money with the monks at the temple for her to collect the next day. She also kindly gave me a pre cooked meal and a cake bar which I ate gratefully.

 

I got down just after 14:30, a quick cold shower and into the bus to the airport.

A day of highs and lows!