Chill day

After a busy week and with the litre of wine plus beers sitting delicately in my tum I resembled a cat today.

Dozing by the pool all day.

Unfortunately dozing doesn't turn the sun off, leaving me with a glorious burn line where I had my arms and sun glasses.

No clothes night

Last night I stayed outside Rome in a campsite.

When I got here I checked in dumped my bags and had a wander. I could hear a big group of mixed accents playing drinking games. I plucked up my courage and asked if I could join in.

I assumed it was a group who had just met while they were here but it turned out they had all been travelling together for nearly a month! Even though I was an outsider they made me really welcome and we had a great night.

They were going to the camps night club which was having an 'anything but clothes' theme night. So I slipped into my bed sheet and off I jolly well went!

Good times were had by all!

The Vatican

Due to my early night I was able to get up and going early doors this morning.

I headed down to St. Peter's square. There are so many tour guides down there trying to sell you tours  and tickets I was getting sick of it. 

So

I thought 'hey, I'll just pretend to be German and they will leave me alone.'

This did not work...

No sooner had the work nine left my lips (incidentally this is the only German word I know). I was set upon by several German speaking tour guides, who were even pushier than the English! The shit thing was that now I was trapped. I couldn't start speaking English as I would be the biggest tool in the world. But also the only German word I know is nine! 

So I ran away.

St. Peter's church was awesome. It is huge but the whole church was built as an optical illusion to make it look smaller that it actually is.

While I was in there a crowed had formed around the side of the room, I must have asked about 6 or 7 people what was going on but no one had a clue. So like a true Brit I joined the que!

After 45 minuets about 10 pope like people walked past. I think the may be cardinals but I really don't have a scooby. And then the crowd dissipated. What a waste of time.

After St. Peter's I went through the Vatican museum and into the Sistine Chappell. It was pretty cool but different to what I was expecting. It was very busy and my word does it give you a crick in the neck! It's supposed to be strictly no photos. This is why my sneaky one features my forehead.  

Rome

On Saturday I had a very busy day!

I managed to find a pub to watch the Lions game in, what a game as well! We got away very lucky in the end! It was a really good atmosphere with about 50:50 split of Brits and Ozzies.

After the game I went to the Forum, which is like an open archeological site. Apparently there is so much history beneath the surface of Rome it is illegal to dig more than 20cm without council permission and the presence of an archeologist!

After the forum, where I met a couple of the Ozzies from the pub. I went to the Colosseum. The colosseum is vast! I could really imagine the spectacles they put on there. My favourite part was looking at all of the little cave like rooms under where the fights would have taken place.

It also really made me want to watch the movie Gladiator!

I then went on a walking tour, which was also fantastic. It was very interesting, I saw the mummified head of John the Baptist, the tomb of Raffiel and also learnt that the roof of the pantheon is made out of pummis stone.

In the evening I met up with Mandy, a friend I made back in Milan. We went to he hostel bar, had a drink or five and met some other really cool people.

The next day was far more chilled. I still did a ton of walking but Mandy and I just chilled out in a big park for a while. I crashed out at about half eight. When my room mates came back at 11 they woke me and I overheard them complaining that they were running late. I put two and two together and came out with nine. I assumed it was morning and leaped out of my top bunk, flying around the room collecting my things, as check out is 10am. This scared the shit out of my room mates as I don't think they even knew I was in the room. One of them had to grab me by the arm and tell me it was still night time.

Midnight walk

When I finally arrived in Rome I decided to go on a little walk.

A little walk that ended up taking around 4 hours!

I had a good wander and saw all the sights lit up at night, it was very pretty.

My highlight was the Trevi Fountain. Mainly because when I was there everyone started cheering for some reason, I rushed forward with the rest of the crowd and saw a guy in a trilby being made a fuss of. Oh my I thought, it's Ollie Murrs, then on further observation I figured it was just a random dick head in a stupid hat.

Pleasure station

I had more trouble on the train system -surprise surprise- 

But the anecdote worth mentioning was as I was sat for a train in a moderately busy italian train station I looked at a couple, in their late forties early fifties, kissing very passionately on the bench on the edge of the platform. So much so a guy also sitting on the bench had to get up as they kept bumping into him.

Then I noticed her hand was under his shirt, a little full on for a public area I though.

I noticed then that the guy who had just stood up looked almost the most uncomfortable I have ever seen anyone.

I looked back to the entwined couple, her arm was pumping furiously!

She was buffing his candlestick right there on the bloody platform!

Bloody Italians, is nowhere safe!

Pompeii

Today I went to Pompeii, as a few other guys from the hostel wanted to go as well I didn't end up leaving until midday, oh no a lie in!!!

Pompeii was fantastic, I never realised how big it was. It is a full on city, all preserved really well. They had roman style fast food shops (sunken pots with marble slabs over the top where they served hot broths etc...). They also had a coliseum, amphitheatre, baths and a brothel!

They did know how to party looking at the wall paintings!

The best thing was the casts made of the people who died in the volcanic eruption of Vesuvius, the casts were so detailed that you could see the expressions on their faces.

Unfortunately as it was sooo hot (40 degrees) and it was getting late we decided not to climb the volcanoes which was a bit of a shame, but an excuse to come back to this beautiful part of the world!

In the evening we stayed around the hostel bar again. It was a really good night mingling with people from all over. A group of young Italian lads came up as well with the obvious plan to pull a forgien girl. This was very funny for me watching them, as a pack, talk to one girl at a time.

There favourite opening line was very similar to the Greek guy in the inbetweeners movie 'heya, I love you, you are the Only girl for me.' (Much funnier if you say it with a shit italian accent.

Blue lagoons of Capri

A group of five of us, myself, David from Melbourne, Macalah also from oz, Carmen and Whitney from Canada all got the ferry over to Capri.

When we got over there we met up with two other ozzy's and rented a private boat with a chap called 'The Pizza Man'. He was a larger than life character who took us to these beautifully blue pools, natural tunnels and caves. I have never seen water like it. The water was almost luminescent.

After the boat trip, and a few sneaky glasses of wine, we headed inland, had a bit of an explore then moseyed on to the beach. 

Fantastic day, I will never forget that fantastic water!

On the way back we bought some water balloons, went up to the sun terrace, and had a water fight. The girls didn't put enough water in theirs though so they never burst. Meaning the shots I took to the left testicle and jugular really packed a punch. I am really shit at tying balloons, so I just used mine as a water pistol. It was very effective but did give the impression I was the 'special' kid invited to the party.

That evening we pretty much took the entire hostel out to dinner! There were 17 of us in total.

Sorrento, finally

I finally arrived in Sorrento at 8:30 pm after a long old day of trains.

The hostel is beautiful, it's like a really modern 5 star hotel but with dorms instead of rooms. I'm on top bunk and its scary high, about 8 foot up in the air! I hope I don't roll out! 

I quickly made some friends in the gents (don't ask) and headed out to a local bar for a pint. When I say a pint, I mean a bloody litre! The thing was huge!! 

I then started to wander back to the hostel alone as I did not want a big night. As I was doing so I got propositioned for sex by a 40 year old spouse lady. Surprisingly I declined her kind invite!

The next day I did some washing and headed down to the Sorrento coast line to the beach.

The day was rather un eventful. Well except for the small Spanish boy I accidentally punched in the arse in they deep Water when I was swimming. I felt terrible he took a hell of a clout!

That evening I met my friends again from the previous night and went out for a lovely dinner. Hilariously due to a translation error I had pasta with sundries tomatoes, pork belly and cheese sluts. 

I hate frigging trains

So today I had to make the move from Salerno to Sorrento. I went to the train station early doors to check the best route and time options.

The ticket man told me to come back at four pm to get a train to Pompeii and then change to Sorrento.

I obliged and went for a little read on the beach. When I got back however, a new train man told me it was impossible to get to Sorrento from Salerno. I queried this in my very best italian (talking slightly loader and pointing a lot). He then agreed to sell me a ticket to Pompeii.

I then had to wait another two hours for said train, only to arrive in Pompeii to a ticket man and policeman who neither spoke English. There was no connection to Sorrento from that station. The policeman, realising I spoke no Italian asked me if I spoke German or Spanish, I shrugged and put on my best pathetic face. He then offered French which I jumped at, so happy that there was a glint of light at the end of the tunnel.

Unfortunately my French only extends to ordering ice cream and maybe describing a view as picturesque. So as he, in great detail, advised me what to do in French I smiled and nodded externally as I sobbed whole heartedly inside. I did not have the balls to tell him that although 20 seconds ago I said I did speak French that now he had gone out of his way to help me that my language prowess was actually a lie.

So I smiled and shook his hand understanding I needed to walk in this direction for 2-5 km. in the 40 degree heat with a front and back pack on. Brilliant. There wasn't even a pavement so I was also at high risk of being mowed down in the middle of nowhere.

Eventually I got to the right station and waited another hour for my train with an elderly couple from Wigan.

Bloody trains

Salerno is the place to be on a Sunday night

After riding back on the bus from Amalfi all along the promenade was some kind of festival. So I hopped off to join in the fun.

The festival was some kind of mixed cultures event with stalls from Ukraine, morocco, Sri Lanka and Poland, among many more.

It was all based around a main stage where there was some kind of talent show going on. I got to see the Sri Lankans doing 'gangnam style' which was quite something.

There was also a giant Victorian style Punch and Judy puppet show theatre going on.

A little further along the coast was an arena with at least one hundred people doing a body blast style aerobics class to music, at 11:30 at night... 

I then ordered a pizza called a marinara as I like subway meatball marinara. This marinara had very strong anchovies. Turns out I don't like anchovies, who knew!

Salerno, definitely not Sorrento

After my train difficulties I finally arrived in Salerno, found my hostel up a graffiti covered back street and slept like a log.

Salerno has a certain charm as the first place in the world that doesn't have a McDonald's. 

On the Sunday I did not learn from my Swiss mistake and although it was 28 degrees in the shade I ate a pint of yoghurt. Again I felt terrible after this.

I went to Amalfi for the afternoon after hearing about its famous Italian beaches. The beach was made of gravel. Again the winding ally's in the town were charming but nothing to rave about.

The most interesting thing that happened today was when the bus driver stopped on the small windy coast road the passenger next to me went mental. Telling me the driver was drunk as he had seen him drinking at the station. Then that he was peeving over the young girls on the beach. When I pointed out that we were at a red light there was a very uncomfortable silence for the rest of the ride.

I also saw a man selling lemons the size of footballs.

New Experiances

On my run this afternoon I Experienced a new wonder, one that I hope I do not have to experience again in a hurry.

On my run, I suddenly became desperate to, er, open my bowels lets say.

I stopped at a pleasant looking cafe that kindly let me use there loo.

I use the term loo loosely, it was a hole in the floor.

 HOW THE HELL DO PEOPLE USE THESE!!!

Without going into the mucky details there are three core problems with this toileting style:

1. For the love of god, whatever you do don't get poo in your shorts   

2. Trying to sustain a half squat while simultaneously try to 'de-clench'

3. Because you work so hard on the first two problems, it is impossible to know if you have achieved 'full release'.

Ridiculous!!

Milan

After another huge free breakfast in Como consisting of croissants, cake, cerial, yoghurt and ham sandwiches I headed over to the Como train station.

at the station it seemed everyone was as puzzled as me that the doors would not open. Due to this strangeness I struck up a conversation with a very pleasant young lady named Francesca. She was Italian but of Vietnamese family origin.

We had a great chat for the entire hour journey to Milan although she was only 18 she seemed to have a very good head on her shoulders and told me of all her plans to become a doctor. Judging by her sensibility I have no doubt she will achieve her goals.

When I arrived in Milan we parted ways and after dropping off my pack at the hostel I got the bus out to explore the city.

I took in the Duomo, the third largest church in Europe. Constructed entirely of marble, which boggles the mind how they managed to build it back in 1386 (although it wasn't actually finished until 1965). 

The next day I woke mid morning and went for a big run to a nice park I had spotted the day before. Then spent the rest of the day walking around the castle and the city, spending long periods reading my book.

My final day in Milan was by far and away the best. I decided to go on a free walking tour which by the by was terrible as the guide was very unconfident in his mannerisms and really struggled to get his point across.

I did however meet Amanda and Sam a Kiwi and a Korean living in New York, respectively. After ruthlessly ditching the tour we went back around the Duomo then to the castle gardens for a chill out.

In the evening the three of us went back to my hostel, I cooked up some dinner, then we had more than a few bottles of wine with my dorm mates Zoe, Lyndsey, Kennan and Matt. A very good evening ensued!

The trouble with trains...

My first attempt at a train journey has been very eventful!

This little story starts last week in a balmy Internet cafe in Switzerland.

My friend Anthony had been raving about a place called Sorrento on the south west cost of Italy. To cut a long story short I realised that lots of Italian places have different names in Italian to English.

Being the clever dick I am I decided to book my train to Salerno, as to me, this was obviously just the Italians way of saying Sorrento.

I was incorrect.

So here we are on the 15/06/2013

Firstly I decided to see off my friend Mandy as she was getting a train an hour and a half before mine.

We 'enjoyed' some stale bread and some biscuits before Mandy departed without a hitch.

This is where things got interesting...

Firstly I realised I had not bought a post card for mum and dad in Milan. So I went to go find one with my full pack on. Could I find a shop selling postcards near the biggest station in Milan? Could I balls!

After 45 minuets of looking I opened up my wallet.... Not a cent! So I then had to wander around in the 30 degree heat still fully laden for another 15 minuets looking for a cash point. 

-don't worry mum and dad, the card is in the post!-

Anyway, trains I hear you cry! 

I got back to the station with 25 minuets before departure and my train was no where to be seen, not on the departures board, no notices, nothing.

 

I began to panic, my booking codes were not recognised by the machines or the aids, and no one would even believe my train existed!

So I got my IPad out to check the full booking -cutting my hand on the Velcro of the false bottom in my bag I have put in to evade theft, causing more bloodshed, a theme for this trip!-. 

It was then with under 20 minuets before my train departs to Salerno that I realised I was at the wrong station, assumption indeed is the mother of all balls ups!

I had to run down to the subway, get across town and find my train.

For once in my existence the eyes of fate were smiling on me and I am now traveling 300km per hour down Italy!

Lake Como

I have spent two days in Lake Como with the lovely Brooke, who I met while sipping cuppa soup in Switzerland.

We had a pretty wine based evening on the monday; sitting at the edge of the great lake on the first night and off to Menaggio today. Menaggio is a very picturesque town. I found a secluded beach to unwind for an hour or so of pure bliss!  

When we got back I decided to go get some supermarket food, 30 minuets later I had eaten a half roast chicken, a huge slab of pizza, a tub of tomatoes and two doughnuts! Good eating!

After that mamouth meal I found out when I met up with Brooke that if you buy a drink at pretty much any bar you get a free buffet! Damn! 

I still eat the full buffet...

Milan tomorrow!

Interlaken

I went to Interlaken on the train yesterday.

When I first arrived I was somewhat underwhelmed. Sarah Bell as told me at great length how lovely the town is but to me,  aside from the Hooters bar, it was really nothing special. 

That is until I got to the lakes.

As it was a beautiful sunny day I decided to rent a bike after I found a hostel to stay in.

After I got the bike however I realised I only had the one pair of boxers that i was wearing to sleep in and wear the next day. So I had to nip down an ally and as quickly as possible strip down and take my boxers off to go commando.

Luckily I was not caught and I proceeded to cycle just over 50km in 3 hours around the most picturesque lake you could possibly imagine. 

The water was rich turquoise shimmering in the sunlight, reflecting the small sailed boats meandering gently through the water. Around the lake were fantastic contrasts. The lake was lined with thick greed forests scaling the mountains snow capped mountains and hills.

As I crossed a small metal bridge on the way back to Interlaken I was forced to stop by the most amazing view I have ever seen in my life, a small but rapid stream snaking through the countryside lined by trees allowing green and white shards of light through. All this was watched over by the alps in the distance.

After my bike ride I overshot.

As I knew I needed to eat to prevent DOMS I had a pint of milk, 500ml of yoghurt and biscuits and a whole pack of sandwich ham, all topped off with a beer.

I cannot describe the deep stomach ache that follows consuming two pints of dairy in the space of 3 minuets....

When I got to the hostel (the funny farm) which was surprisingly quite a grand building with marble and oak floors and pillars, I met Gabriel and Teresa newlyweds from Seattle and JJ and Stephanos, South African brothers.

We decided to take advantage of the happy hour across the road and bought as many beers as we could carry! We chatted all night then accidentally ended up in a nightclub for locals, where German versions of fatboy slim songs where the tunes of choice.

You don't need to know about the hangover I have today! 

10,000 feet!

Today I got up super early (7:20) to get the cable car up to Schilthorn which is 10,000 feet or 3000 meters above sea level and thus is one of the highest points in Europe.

I did not dress appropriately! I thought it would be fine to wear my fit flops (which by the way are the comfiest things you will ever wear). 

I did not anticipate two and a half foot of snow on one of the platforms! I ended up in the toilets with my feet in the dyson hand dryer!

The views were spectacular from the top and even better from Muren, a small Swiss village about half way up the mountain so I walked from Muren to Gimmerwald then got the cable car back to Lauterbrunnen. 

I did try to take a nap in a field just outside Muren  after drifting off in the sun I was woken with a sharp pain in my hand. A HUGE red ant was sucking my blood and I couldn't get it off. After a swift splat I thought it a better idea to keep moving!

I bopped down the rest of the way down to camp listening to Now 52, great tunes.

Interlaken tomorrow!

Waterfalls

I am now in Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland.

Last night I had a couple of beers with Ant and some of the other busabout people. The hostel has a bar converted from a underground bunker. 

Today we met up with the tour guide and bus driver as it was their day off and went up and behind the waterfall next to our hostel (which is really a campsite, I am in a really quant wooden cabin). Ant and I didn't want to get our shoes wet so we decided to go up bare foot... Not a good move, turns out stones are VERY sharp!

Ant and I then went to the Trummel-bach-falle waterfalls. Which is a system of ten connected waterfalls inside a mountain. The falls drain three of the biggest swiss mountains (Eiger, Monch, Jungfrau). The waterfalls apparently carry around 20,000 litres of water per second! I took a bunch of pictures but the camera really couldn't do them justice. It really was an amazing site, so much power but so beautiful at the same time. As the waterfalls were inside the mountain there were little cracks in the walls of the cave making a fall of light too which really added to the atmosphere.