Jungle trek

Boy am I exhausted!

Today I bussed up to the national park and ran all through the dense virgin jungle. It was amazing. I came out at one point onto this beautiful golden beach where the sea turtles lay there eggs at this time of year. I saw some sea turtles at the rescue centre and had a bit of a swim. As I was swimming in the deep water I saw something break the surface for a second right next to me. Naturally I lost my shit and went completely still. Although I had goggles the water was too sandy to see anything at all. Next thing something smooth and hard hit my leg. Just saying but I may have kicked a sea turtle.

I then bolted out of the water like a little girl before sunning myself on the rocks for an hour to the tune of 'sittin on the dock of the bay' by Ottis Redding.

I then trail ran 3km+ back through the hilly and humid jungle.

Fantastic. 

Oh yeah, I also saw some wild monkeys!

How traveling is meant to be.

Penang Malaysia is fantastic. I have never been to a place which offers so much.

The people are friendly, food fantastic, great beaches and awesome jungles.

Before I tell you about my time in Penang I have a burning question. What is the demand like in Thailand for Karioke/ stripper busses. Every minibus I take seems to be a gaudy Karioke bus with some kind of sexual innuendo on the side of it. But, I have never once seen one cruising around at night serving the function they are obviously designed for.

My bus to Penang was signed "sexy girls only" they must have been expecting me.

My first full day in Penang I spent exploring the city. I went around some of the religious buildings (churches, temples and mosques as the city of George Town is so multicultural. Then I went to the museum which was full of interesting information. 

After my study I wandered down to the esplanade. Right next to a sign saying no food vans, there it was, a food van pulled up and serving. So I grabbed some crab balls and lychee juice. While I was enjoying my food a group of teens from KL came up to talk to me. We had some photos and they had a bit of a giggle at how pastey I am! Cheeky buggers.

I then carried on my wander to fort cornwallice, where the English first landed. Probably one of the worst forts ever constructed. The walls were only 7ft and easily climbable.

I then continued down to the harbour and out onto the chinease clan jetee. I read there for ages and watched the sun go down with magnificent reds blues and oranges. I also met a really nice couple from NZ.

After the sun set I grabbed some food from a food court -not sure what it was- before hunting for some street art.

When I was at a really cool painting of some kids riding a bicycle I asked a couple of girls to take my photo for me, I returned the favour and we got chatting. They were both from Penang and asked if they could give me a tour. Obviously I jumped for it!

Casendra and Christine showed me all around the hidden sights of George Town including a temple at the end of a pier and a Muslim religious ceremony. We then drove to the other side of the island to their friends burger bar and then to the beach for a quiet beer and a chat.

What a fantastic day.

Driving in Au Nang

Today Monica, Mandee, Stacey, Charlie and I rented a car. As the only person used to driving on the left I was the designated driver. The only problem I had was I have never driven an automatic before. It's really scary driving without a clutch pedal. After a couple of foux pars, including left foot breaking thinking it was the clutch and reversing out horrendously into oncoming traffic as I had no clutch control. 

This lack of control lead me to have four attempts at parrellel parking, right outside the shop with the woman looking out in horror at who was driving her expensive Toyota saloon car.

We first started driving towards tiger cave temple, but I got distracted by a sign for fossil beach. So we went there instead! 

After Stacey and I got ice creams we hopped back in the car to Tiger cave temple. Monica gave very clear and accurate directions. Which I chose to ignore and drive us 15 minuets in the wrong direction; before listening to her before she beat me up and we got to the temple.

We explored for a while and after 1200 steps -which is even more than it sounds!- Monica and I reached the limestone karst mountain summit for an amazing vista. 

Unfortunately the guy we asked to photograph us took a shot with the only cloud around in the background!

We then got back in the car and drove to the hot springs. Excited, we all changed in the car park. Only to find out that the 'hot spring' advertised was actually just a heated swimming pool.

Dejected we tried again for the 'hot stream' this time. Success! Except it was closed due to rain. After begging the security guard we finally got in and enjoyed the 'hot spring' which I think should really be rebranded 'teped spring' to be more accurate.

But at least I learned my lesson about jumping in things when you can't see the bottom. I was just about to bomb into the pool when my still sore neck reminded me to jump in a little more carefully. What a good job as it was only knee deep!

We stopped on the way back for some market food and a relaxed evening.

Krabi

I went to Krabi from Koh pang nang with Monica, Mandee, Stacy and Charlie. When we arrived we decided not to let the shitty weather hold us back so we went to the beach in the rain. While we were there we saw the wierdest fish. Fat little buggers who moved around on the sand by dragging their tubby bellies around the sand with their front fins. Stacey tried to get a better photo by going closer. She put one foot out and with a slurp the sand ate her foot! 

We then went up into town and around the markets which were really cool with such a variety of food and so much hustle and bustle. We went to the night market in the evening and destroyed a huge freshly cooked fish. 

We went to a Cookery class yesterday which was a lot of fun. Charlie and I quickly took the roles of naughty kids. Getting told off for being slow, messing around and eating the ingredients. The lady leading the course was hilarious but very bossy, it was a bit like being in military training the way she barked orders at us! 

After the class we were all given certificates. Unfortunately there was no formal ceremony so I took it upon myself to stage an event. Calling everyone up individually with a short speech and presenting with applause.

After 6 meals though we were stuffed! And went across to Au Nang and after another shopping spree chilled out for the evening at a cabaret bar, where a small Thai man banged out American ballads to mixed success.

Krabi

I went to Krabi from Koh pang nang with Monica, Mandee, Stacy and Charlie. When we arrived we decided not to let the shitty weather hold us back so we went to the beach in the rain. While we were there we saw the wierdest fish. Fat little buggers who moved around on the sand by dragging their tubby bellies around the sand with their front fins. Stacey tried to get a better photo by going closer. She put one foot out and with a slurp the sand ate her foot! 

We then went up into town and around the markets which were really cool with such a variety of food and so much hustle and bustle. We went to the night market in the evening and destroyed a huge freshly cooked fish. 

We went to a Cookery class yesterday which was a lot of fun. Charlie and I quickly took the roles of naughty kids. Getting told off for being slow, messing around and eating the ingredients. The lady leading the course was hilarious but very bossy, it was a bit like being in military training the way she barked orders at us! 

After the class we were all given certificates. Unfortunately there was no formal ceremony so I took it upon myself to stage an event. Calling everyone up individually with a short speech and presenting with applause.

After 6 meals though we were stuffed! And went across to Au Nang and after another shopping spree chilled out for the evening at a cabaret bar, where a small Thai man banged out American ballads to mixed success.

Post moon escapades

For the rest of my birthday, after a brief nap 10am to 12pm I went for a splash in the water before having a lazy day in the common area. I had a bit of a chat with mum, dad and Makoto which was really nice.

Monica and I then walked to the supermarket. And that was it!

The next day -after a decent sleep- Monica Mandy and I went into Thongsala to go to the shops. We went around the indoor market and I found a shirt that I wanted. We looked for the shop owner. Nowhere to be found. We went to the stalls either side of it, no one wanted to help us spend money... How odd!

Mandy then shouted "is anyone here? Does anyone want some money for this?...... No? Ok then." She then asked the shop keeper next door if we could pay her. She said no. She then said "ok, I'm stealing this shirt. This shirt is being taken. Will anyone come to take some money?...... No?" She then put it in her bag and we slowly walked off with Mandy still shouting "I'm stealing at the moment, I'm stealing this shirt." We then walked from the market and up the road about 300m. Only then did the lady from the next door stall run after us and drag us back to the marketplace.

Once we were back a huge group of people gathered around us shouting at us. Calling us thieves and other -I'd imagine- nasty names in Thai. We tried to pay a guy who was now standing in the stall but he was completely bewildered looking and wouldn't take anything. Then slowly, everyone left to get on with their business. Leaving us, again, completely alone in a stall with at shirt and no one to pay!

This time we just left the shirt!

That evening we hopped into the back of a pickup truck the Canadian guys were renting and drove over to Haad Rin for dinner. The back of a pickup on a summers evening is definitely the way to travel. Although it was a bit of fun when Charlie started sliding around every corner.

We had a lovely meal sat out on the sand, under the stars on the sand with the sea lapping nearby.

Full moon chaos!

The clock strikes midnight and the singing begins!

A rowdy chorus of happy birthday to welcome me into my 25th year!

And the singing did not stop until we got out of the cab / pick up truck at the full moon party. My favourite melodie was bohemian rhapsody we really belted it out and I took the solo role in the court section.

We also shouted at the occasional dick head surfing on the roof of a car down the wet pot holed roads.

We had already had some fun on the beach, covering each other in glowing nu rave paint.

After the sing along in the cab we jumped out, with both feet, into the chaos of Haad Rin beach full moon party. There were thousands and thousands of people stretching all the way down the bay.

We grabbed a couple of buckets and joined the party.

Now poppey has spinach, banana man has bananas. I apparently have Asian red bull. Oh my word. It was this stuff, not the alcohole that fueled my night! So much energy! I was dancing like a fiend all through the night! I even did the worm on the beach in the middle of a packed sandy dance floor!

Here are some assorted tales from the evening. The order escapes me as the night blurred!

I was waiting out side the toilet for a friend for a little while with this guy from Singapore doing the same. He spotted I had birthday written down my arm so gave me a third of a pint of tequila! I necked it and had a chat. However when we got up to leave he poured another half pint! Shit me that's a lot of tequila! 

David an American guy we were with, who was off his tits, came to me looking concerned. He said "Gary, you've been doing a lot of dancing tonight which is great. But you've got to remember to re hydrate. Look after your body." And then strolled off into the night.

I was given two cheap flower rings for buying a bucket. So I turned to Monica, one of the girls we were hanging out with,dropped a knee, and popped on the ring. One of Monica's friends got really angry though as she thought we'd actually found a Chappell and legally married and was proper pissed she wasn't invited!

At the end of the night the sunrise was spectacular. The whole sky was a reddy orange, outlining the whisper cload cover with deep tones.

We then all climbed into a pickup truck and went home.

Just as I started relaxing in bed the night was rounded off by a girl breaking the toilet so plunger in hand I took on the porcelain which was overflowing with little turd boats.

Sand, sea and storms!

I chilled out around the beach on my first two days in Ko phan ngan. I say around the beach as it was bucketing down for the lions share of the time! 

On my third day I rented a 4x4 pickup truck and drove around the island. I was the designated driver which was worrying considering my terrible sense of direction!

Imran, Terri, Rosie and myself drove up through the central part of the island stopping at two waterfalls. After a long deliberation I jumped in off the rope swing! No rocks this time!

We then drove down along the beautiful coast and back to the hostel in time to prepare for the jungle party.

The jungle party was very cool! A huge stage and dance area, strobe lights and a shed load of people in the middle of the dense Thai jungle. I busted some moves with my friends from the hostel and had a cheeky bucket of rum!

Why does nothing go my way

I woke up early this morning, plenty of time to get my flight.

I pulled my shirt on and grabbed my shorts off the top bunk. To a cound of metal on metal then something rattling across the tiled floor. Shit. There goes my locker key.

After hunting for 20 minuets I decided it was time to call in re enforcements. I got in touch with the hostel and they Duely sent up a man with a big saw. It turns out my padlock was pretty good! It complety blunted two saw blades. Eventually, after another 20 minuets or so I had my passport and iPad in hand. 

I hopped in a tuk tuk but realised half way to the airport I never checked out. That's a few more dollars I won't see again!

Throughout the corse of the morning I had not been feeling amazing. This led me to spend my last bit of time in Cambodia in a public toilet, chucking my guts up.

If your not aware of how western (sit down) toilets work in Asia, they have very high water lines. So as I sat down letting that end empty I had a huge urge to vomit. I flipped round just in time, heaved up, the velocity of it made a big splash and the enevitable splash back went all over my face. Uuuurghh, horrid.

I got through my first flight and into Bangkok. Here I took up from where I left off cowering in the toilets. Although when I got to security they took my peanut butter I had left in my bag and tried taking my sun cream. I persuaded them to let me squeeze my sun cream into an empty mosquito repellant bottle.

I arrived in Koh Samui. Grabbed my bag and payed the extra to get a speed boat to my hotel, I didn't feel like fannying about on a ferry for over an hour.

I had some light relief when I arrived at my dorm as a girl, hotter than the sun, who had been on her own their for a day was walking around in skimpy underware. This cheered me up no end before I crashed and burned for 14 hours, waking regularly in fever.

That's an awful lot of hookers

With a new motivation in the excitement leading up to getting to the Thai Islands I decided to paint the town red in Phnom Penh. It was not your ordinary night out either!

I met a girl called Yasmine in my dorm so we decided to go up to the rooftop bar in the hostel. We got a beer each and had a bit of a chat. We were then invited to play beer pong with Alex, Brad and Jessie. I put in a terrible performance. Not one single cup the entire game, even though I was giving out some banter and show boating a little ironically. That is until we lost our last cup, I haphazardly tossed the ball in my hand to the other end of the table. Plop, straight in, nothing but net!

Unbelievable, I lost my head, shouted and as my arms went up in triumph I screamed, "you see what you get! You see what you get when you mess with a warrior!" My beer pong virginity had been taken and it felt oh so good.

We then went out for dinner, after dinner I had the bright idea of buying some tins on the riverside and sitting there. Would have been a lovely idea, without the strong smell of urine and rats running around! We bought the beers off a guy with no legs, this didn't seem to deter him though as he had strapped himself into rollerblades with disco lights to zoom up and down the prom.

After returning to the hostel we joined another group of backpackers and got a tuk tuk into town. After a couple at a bar that only seemed to have 12 songs on loop we went to a club.

I have never received so much attention in a nightclub before. Clearly all of the Cambodian women in short skirts and high heels had impeccable taste in men. Either that or, as Yasemin pointed out, the room was about 94% saturated with prostitues.

It was here that the night got really interesting, as after a while we asked a bouncer, in the nicest possible way "is there a place around here we can go that isn't full of, ahem, 'ladies of the night'?"

Fifteen minuets later we were in a gay bar called heart of darkness, surrounded by mincing gay hookers. Not exactly what we had in mind!

We left rather swiftly. 

When we arrived back to the hostel with a dry lightning storm cracking serverly over our heads. In one of the flashes I spotted a big green snake swimming smoothly threw the gutter water. We gathered round to look and were accompanied by a policeman who was driving past.

The policeman got out his touch so we could get a better look. We all stared in silence at the snake, until 'CRACK!'. I now know never to mess with a Cambodian policeman as his touch is also a friggin taser!

Khmer Rouge

Today Willhelm, Doreen, Hope, Pru and I rented a tuk tuk to go to the S21 prison used n the 1970s as a prison and tourture centre during Pol Pot's regime. 

This was a really hard place to go. Seeing photos of the people who lost their lives unnecessarily here and seeing the small 1 by 2 meter cells people where forced into, movement being banned, to ly still on the floor for days on end between random beatings, hanging and mutilations.

We had a talk from an elderly gentleman who was one of 7 out of hundreds of thousands of people to survive the prison. He described to us in detail how he was forced to lie on his back in his own bodily fluids for hours. One night he couldn't sleep so he rolled onto his left side. Withing minuets a guard had sounded an alarm saying he was trying to escape. He rolled onto his back, but it was too late. He received a beating. Then was held down as his toenails were removed one by one with a pair of plyers. He also lost fingers at the prison but he would not elaborate on how he lost them.

He likes to return to the prison from time to time to teach people what atrocities happened there. Truly terrible.

The most emotional thing for me however was the photos of the dead. In 2007 the government paid for any Cambodians willing to visit the prison. Many used this as an opportunity to scour these hundreds of photos for a chance to glimpse a loved one. I could not begin to imagine how I would feel coming to a place like this to find a photo of my mother and father lying in their own filth, decapitated or with any of the wounds many of thes corpse portraits had. I love my parents so much, although I take them for granted I never want to loose them. I would hate to be a Cambodian, exactly my age coming to this hell hole to find those graffic images you sought to find the truth about you mother, father, aunts and uncles absence.The peak of the regime was only in 1975 this made it too real for me, along with the personal statements from guards and prisoners.

After the prison we went to the killing field. Although the killing field today has been made into a shrine it is still an incredibly morbid place. During 1975 70 people per day were brought here for execution. Bullets were not wasted on these people, children and babies were swung from the ankles into tree trunks, caving in their innocent heads. Women were often raped to such an extreme they would die. Men were struck with bats and hammers or simply buried alive. Nearly 200 graves in this field have been excavated finding from 200 to 500 bodies in each. There are still over 200 further graves they do not have the resources to excavate. As you walk around the field bones and teeth are still emerging from the ground. I walked by the river to find a collar bone half jutting out. There are so many bones that only skulls and femurs are preserved.

As I looked at the shrine in the centre of the field I broke down a little again.

Each level of this vast tower is full of human skulls. On one level alone was enough skulls to represent every friend and family member I have. Murder on this scale is inconsevable until you can see death lying their in front of you.

Tomb rader!

What a sight, 6:20am in front of a thousand year old temple in the Cambodian jungle the sun rose. Reflecting its warm light on the moat below and out towards me with two of my best friends Alex and Gill Hay.

After sunrise and a pancake (the two are apparently synonymous, we took a tuk tuk tour around the outer temples of Angkor. The temples were very beautiful. They were covered in ancient intricate engraving, some of them had trees growing out of their roofs/walls.

We had a great time topping up on some culture. After lunch we drove out to a floating village. This was also really cool, it looked like any other street in Cambodia, except the fact it was on a river! This 8 year old lad came strolling out of his house stark naked, saw the tourist boat right by his door and dropped to the deck covering up. Once he had got over the shock I clearly thought better of his shyness, stood up boldly, and leaped into the water.

We then popped back to the temple complex for sunset before heading out for dinner.

The next day I went back to the temple complex with the girls from my dorm, Laura, Laura and sylvie. We went to the bigger temples today, which were breathtaking before gathering up 16 people from the hostel to go out for dinner and drinks.

This morning I reluctantly crawled out of my Pitt at 6:30am to get back to the temples and complete the Angkor half marathon circuit. The humidity nearly killed me, I just couldn't breath!

Saigon Shopping Spree!

So in Saigon or Ho Chi Minh city I quite literally shopped till I dropped!

On the first day I took on Ben thanh market for a browse and price check on the way to the war reminants museum. The museum was pretty cool, giving a very biased view of the American occupation. There were some particularly harrowing photos of US Marines holding up bomb decimated corpses and decapitated children. There was also an exhibit on the victims of agent orange, a chemical weapon which left generations being born either significantly mutated or physically or mentally handicapped.

On the way to the museum I found the best bakery ever! All I'm saying is that blackberry bread and bitter pudding is the future!

After the museum and a swift nap I met Helly and Liv for diner. It sounds like hey have had a great trip. They even got me an early birthday present, a Halong bay shirt to comemerate our lovely bout trip.

Over the next two days I spent most of my time in Saigon square, a shopping market buying tons of fake designer shirts. Enough to rival Cian! I also organised my own walking tour taking in the notredam cathedral, opera house and the Gustoff Eiffel designed post office. I also treated my sore neck to a massage wihich was very good!

After some goodbye beers with Paul and Dori I got on my 15 hour bus to Siem Riep.

At 3pm we stopped, exactly 15 hours after we departed. I collected my bag. Checked my things and strides from the bus. To a collection of very confused and surprised faces... "Where are you off to?" "We're here aren't we?" "Ha ha ha ha haa! Another 6 hours yet. Get back on the bus." "........"

At hour 20 I started to loose my mind. The song 'the road' by tenacious D came on which cheered me up a bit but it was still a horrible amount of time.