Sunny Dorset

I touched down into England at Bournemouth airport, the home of the worst airport security in the world.

The only security measure was an old bloke in one of the corridors eyeing people suspiciously. He pulled one lady to the side and said, "have you anything you shouldn't in your bag?" She said "no." And so he let her pass.

As the bus was not due for over an hour a lady offered to share a cab with me and her three children. 

Aside from tying an old mans shoe lace for him in the street I just slept in assorted places around Bournemouth, including two parks, the beach and the street.

Jonesy picked me up  at 6ish, I think he really liked me vibrant floral shirt!

We went down to the pub with a few of his mates that evening and had a really good time.

The next day Ruth got back from her end of term party. We had a mosey round the shops of Blanford. Pims in the garden and then off for a Chinese!

On the Sunday we rounded off a great weekend by going fishing. I caught 4 carp and Jonesy also caught 4 including a big ol ghost carp, pearly white in colour.

Ironically I hardly got a tan all round Europe and Morocco, but one afternoon in the Dorset sunshine and now my nose is peeling!

We tried to take a group photo but the fish jumped up in the air as the timer went giving us all a shock. After a BBQ (where I accidentally threw the grill into the lake, sorry guys!) we headed back to Blanford for some Sangria and an expertly cooked pork belly.

I went for a run the next day whilst Ben and Ruth were at work. I use the term run loosely as I spent most of my time wandering around lost or on private property. 

Waves

Over the last couple of days we have been to the beach for the day, and to Siam park.

On the first day we woke up late and eventually headed down to the golden sanded beach close to our hotel. Makoto and I had great fun surfing the huge waves... Him in a inflatable ring and me on a lilo!

I don't know how I didn't break my neck. On one wave I caught it right at the top as it was breaking shot straight over Makoto and flew on top of it to the beach. Where I was flung from the lilo and tumbled at high speed up the beach arse over tit.

Of course I then laughed ran back out and did it twice more!

That evening we went to a handful of the local bars, saw a terrible Tom Jones impersonator and gave mum a spin on the dance floor to everyone's amusement.

The next day we went to the water park, Siam Park. It was really good. It is however an odd sensation to go on the lazy river when completely dry. You sit with your arse sticking out a hole into freezing cold water. I felt like I had fallen down the loo!

A few more rum and cokes that evening and away for my 4am taxi to the airport.

The big adventure

Today mum, Makoto, a slightly reluctant dad and myself rented a car to go an explore the island!

Mum took the driving role, I the navigator and off we went! 

Mums driving improved during the day, but for the first 20 minuets she has never concentrated more. At least I know now how to keep her quiet in future! Get her to drive on the wrong side of the road. The funniest thing was she kept stroking the door as she reached the wrong side to the gear stick.

First, we drove up to 'Los Gigantes' the giant black volcanic cliffs on the west of the island. We stopped a bunch of times and took some awesome photos. 

We then got back on the road to the Garachio coast. On the way we stopped at the small church in Los Llanos, it was very pretty. Prettier still was the view from behind it. We were above the clouds, and so the clouds looked like a fluffy pure White Sea lapping at the green forested hillside. 

We stopped for a while at the back sanded beach of Puerto De La Cruz. Makoto was being a wimp saying the sea was too cold so I chased him up and down the beach until I caught the slippery bugger and tossed him over my shoulder and carried him in. After playing in the sea for an hour or so we jumped back in the car and drove up the volcano.

We didn't get lost.... I knew exactly where we were at all times, it was just the map can't have had all the roads on. 

After a short detour we were on the way again. Mum showed off some fantastic driving skills by driving into a pit on the side of the road and clashed wing mirrors with a parked car.

The views through the mountain range up to the volcano were fantastic, but unfortunately Makoto couldn't get a decent jumping photo as he can only clear the ground by 2 inches when he jumps.

We stopped at the peak for half hour or so to admire the stars with no light pollution before driving back to the hotel for a couple of beers, finishing off a wonderful day. 

Insanity

I don't know what they get up to in the army but I'm pretty sure jazz hands and high kicks aren't part of basic training.

I went to the local gym today and asked about their gym classes, they recommended going to one that afternoon called 'insanity' as it was aimed at men and was a army style work out, like basic training.

Arrived promptly at 5:30 to a room full of women. After a couple of minuets I soon realised this was a high tempo aerobics class. If ever anything was a youtube sensation this would definitely be it. 

High tempo house music with 12 tiny Spanish women doing high kicks and four point groin thrusts in perfect time.... With me flailing wildly in the middle trying to keep up incredibly uncoordinated.

The plus side was the sports bra does not see, to have made it to Spain and most of the girls were just wearing big pants. If only I wasn't completely knackered and using all my energy to copy them do some kind of jazz hand shuffle I could have enjoyed the scenery.

I pushed some weight in the gym area after where they had a guy walking round playing the saxophone! 

Sunny Spain

I arrived in Tenerife just after midnight.

How could I get to the hotel as cheaply as possible?

I had a go at bribing my way onto the Thompson bus, but they didn't go to mum and dad's hotel, Parque du Plaz. So I grabbed a taxi. After again trying to get in the drivers seat we were on our way.

When I arrived I sneaked into the hotel to avoid suspicion, hit my bag in the shower and went to hunt out mum and dad. Little did I know that they had cleared it for me to be a registered all nucleus ice guest at the hotel. They were waiting in reception!

When I found them we hugged and said our hellos. It was great to see them, I had been missing them a lot.

The next few days past in a wonderful fashion; sunning ourselves by the poor and having a few drinks in the evening.

Highlights include: throwing Makoto around in the pool, getting a champagne sangria with mum and doing a mini workout on the balcony.

Last night we went into the main strip, where we were told the 'youngsters go' so of course mum was well up for it! I corrupted them a little bit by teaching them drinking games. Mum was absolutely terrible, and Makoto enjoyed it a bit too much! Chugging lemonade.

I love Seville

I set my alarm for the horrific 4am with the promise from Karim the hostel manager that it would be easy to flag a cab at that time in the morning...

I woke up naturally at 3:30am, which was incredibly fortunate as I could not for the life of me remember where my wallet was! I turned my bamboo roof cage upside down trying to find it. After half an hour I found it. It was where any normal person would keep their wallet. Rolled up inside the blanket of the empty bed.

I then popped my newly stitched up Pack on, the strap ripped so I had to get my budget stitching skills out the night before. And headed out the door.

Of course there were no taxis, it was 4am. I was another victim of a Moroccans bull shit.

After a short walk I managed to grab a cab and got my flight to Seville.

SEVILLE IS AWESOME. 

I fell in love, Seville is a collection of charming fountain filled squares and cosy narrow streets. After my first beer, which I enjoyed in a beautiful little square, I headed down to the river for a nap on a bench I found in the shade.

After a couple of hours I went for a wander and found the park of Maria Louisa and around the Arabic style castle there. I spent a few hours here. Quite easily the most beautiful building and gardens I have ever seen. I can't believe it's not even in the top 5 sights to see in Seville.

Unfortunately the Seville cathedral was closed so I went to the palace which used to house the king and queen of Spain, during the Spanish golden era. Oh my god! More astonishing beauty. The high ceilings and delicate but intricate wall carvings, combined with the carved wooden ceilings, open squares and gardens, not forgetting the water features blew my mind.

Eventually I tore myself away to get to the airport in time for my flight to meet mum dad and Makoto in Tenerife.

Climbing waterfalls

Today Louie and his friends Chris, Rory, Wellsey, Neil and I decided to go for an adventure to find the waterfalls of the Ourika valley.

After a bus trip I took control at the taxi rank and for once actually managed to negotiate a successful deal leaving us paying 70p each for a cab ride of about 45 minuets! I'm very proud!

Unfortunately I forgot my Camera for this adventure. Which was probably for the best as I was the ring leader getting Louie, Neil and myself to climb up an incredible steep, incredibly dangerous cliff face next to a waterfall. The sheer cliff face was around 60m high so I'm sure mum and dad won't be too happy I took the risk!

At the top it was well worth it as, with two Moroccan guys (one albino by the by), we had our own private waterfall and pool. I chilled on the smooth flat rocks right at the top of the drop. It was really cool, with the light coming throu the trees and my feet in the cool water, a nice contrast from the 40+degree heat of the day.

Further down the valley we stopped to eat at a small mountainside restaurant. I had the best Tagine of the trip. A Burber Tagine with beef and lamb.

There were also restaurants and bars lower down the valley which had there tables set up actually in the river. They looked really nice but we were running late for our return before Ramadan, so had to skip them.

Hopefully Wellsey will send me some of his picks!

Marrakech

After we got back from the Sahara we were staving and could not resist the call of the jmal el fna square. Well more specifically the waiters that mobbed us and pulled us in!

So with our full packs we had a Tagine.

We later got back to our hostel and found a group of 35 people on a morocco tour having a few beers. We thought this was not possible in morocco, especially during Ramadan. 

So after a very frustrating conversation with a shop keeper (who i had spoken English with earlier that day. But now was playing stupid to hike up prices) we jumped in a cab, "supermarche!"

After a 10 minuet ride it was closed, so we stayed in the cab and headed home. Sober, but still high in spirits.

The next day Richard and I went to some botanic gardens. They were very pretty, densely filled with various cacti, palm trees and bamboo. It was a very relaxed but upclassed atmosphere. After an hour or so Richard left to see the mosques but I decided to stay and read.

I started sitting on a bench under a palm tree, within 5 I was slouched, another 5 and I was lying down on the bench.

Two hours later I woke myself up snoring with my book on my face, one leg over the back of the bench and the other on the floor, classy.

I decided to head back to the hostel before meeting Richard at the square. After 2 more hours walking in circles around the medinas winding alleys I had to pay a young lad to show me the way to the square as I was hopelessly lost, again.

I met Richard and we waited for Fraser to arrive.

With Fraser in toe, straight from Esouaria, we hit a few of the smaller, more specific market stalls. We had soup, goats head, goats udder, a selection of fish and some OJ. Before a walk around the Souks (the street market made up of very narrow winding streets). Richard was hilarious, he has possibly the least culturally sensitive haggling banter I have seen, as well as being like a kid in a sweetshop when surrounded by the souks tat. Fraser did my haggling for me as I was obviously an I compliant moron.

The next day was a chill day, Richard and Fraser left early in the morning. My sole achievement was buying food from the market and slow cooking a Moroccan style Bolognese, which was delicious if I do say so myself! This day also hit 50 degrees so was very uncomfortable.

The following day I met Louis over breakfast. Strangely he is from Brighton also and went to Varndean school and college 3 years below me. 

We went for a walk in the blistering mid day heat around the royal palace, some of its gardens and into the Palace Bahaa.

I later went out, having learnt from my several efforts at buying things, to to a proper man shop. I planned my route, I knew exactly what I wanted and where from. And I attacked the place. Well, I would have done if I didn't get lost and walk 20 minuets the wrong way into the Madina. But once I got back on track I attacked the souks like a ninja.

Although some how I was persuaded to pay 20dh extra for mum's present and had to give away my sunglasses in exchange also.